Posts from Fiddleback Fever conscerning St. Scurrius:
CownonizationOne of the professors at Christendom ran over a squirrel on St. Francis' feast day. This is really funny. Or at least it's super ironic.
Anyway, the squirrel has just been proclaimed a martyr of the Cow Church by the true Cow Pope, Angus V. Only one miracle as been attributed to him: the cancelling of Latin 201 on October 13, 2004. We look forward to many of the same kind of miracles!
St. Scurrius, patron of Christendom's Latin students, pray for us!
All bear witness to this auspicious event! The feast day of St. Scurrius is the same as that of St. Francis.
John
Delhi, India
News from DelhiIn other news, a second Latin class was canceled yesterday, it is believed that this is the second miracle due to the intercession of St. Scurrius. Cow Church authorities are looking into this alleged miracle.
St. Scurrius?
Some people have questioned whether the martyred squirrel can be called a saint. It is known that the Bovine Church can call St. Scurrius a saint. As a follower of the First Council of Haymeadow, which says there is no salvation outside the barn, he was a frequent visitor to the barn. Also as a martyr, he only needs one miracle to be proclaimed a saint in the Cow Church. This miracle was the cancellation of Latin 201 on October 13, 2004, nine days after his death.
R. T. Sender
~ Cow Church Investigator
Life of St. ScurriusWhile there is not much known about St. Scurrius, some rumors of his deeds and assassination attempts have appeared.
One day, on his way back home from the barn, he noticed two stupid hunters who had been out for two weeks without seeing a deer. He decided to stick around for a while. Just then one of the men saw a large deer and took aim. That is when St. Scurrius jumped out of the tree and landed in the guy's hair. This made the man fall out of his stand to the ground. The other man climbed down and they both left. St Scurrius then went to gather food for his family.
The next day the men were back with a keg of dynamite, two baseball bats, and a case of M80s. When the short fuse was lit St. Scurrius ran, but the men were caught in the blast. They were still alive when the game warden and police arrived and arrested them.
While some believe, some are still trying to prove that the killer of St. Scurrius was not one of these two men.
You will be kept up to date on this important investigation
R. T. Sender
~ Cow Church Investigator
IT'S A MIRACLETo update everyone on the latest events of Latin, there has been andother miracle attributed to St. Scurrius. Another clas has been canceled.
So to recap, St Scurrius was myrtered October 4, 2004 (feast day of St. Francis) by a professor here. There is a picture of this professor trying to appologize to St. Francis for this happening. The first miracle was attributed October 13, 2004. And the newest miracle was attributed October 10, 2004.
AGAIN!Another strange miraculous happening! The third miracle has been attributed to St. Scurrius on December 29, 2004.
Another Latin 201 class has been cancelled and was quickly declared a miracle. In fact he also canceled the Greek 101 class.